How do you deal with a future that has been tainted by a sad past?
I have been thinking about that question ever since I lost my mom to cancer a year ago. When she died , my life became a big blur of uncertainties and fear. She left me with so many questions, anger even, that have left me shaken and scared to move forward with my life.
I was 23 when she died. Most of you would agree that I was a little too young to have faced such tragedy. All along, I always imagined that I would be in my fifties, or sixties when I'm mourning over my parent's death. But no, life always had to be so unexpected, hadn't she? At an age when I barely had a stable job, she took away one important person from me. And I was left wondering why.
From then on I was scared to wake up every morning. A simple text message alarm from my phone would leave me cowering in fear thinking it's another terrible news.I was a wreck, a byproduct of tragedy. As much as I tried to relive my life, I couldn't.
It went on for months and more months. Until someone made me realize something - that life, no matter how many curve balls it will throw you, should be treasured every moment. Because there is always love that makes everything worthwhile.
And just like that I managed to slowly take back my life. Because I know that a love lost is a love found. I lost my mom, and that made me realize the value of all the people who love me. The future after all isn't as bleak as I thought it was. In fact, it's much brighter than ever.
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